Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

December 8

Judgmental Santa

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Not everyone is getting presents for Christmas.
Dear Santa,
Yeah I was naughty this year and it was worth it. You fat judgmental bastard!

December 3

Vegan Cookies and Soy Milk for Bad Santa

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Don’t mess with Santa, give the man real cookies and real milk!
Dear Santa,
Please enjoy these gluten-free vegan raisin cookies with organic soy milk.
Love,
The Wesleys
Answer from Bad Santa Claus:
Soy milk??? Raisins suck
GET REAL COOKIES
HO HO HO

November 11

Funny Life Quotes

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. Oscar Wilde
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. […]

January 19

Funny Famous Fuck Quotes

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General Custer - Where did all them f*cking Indians come from?
Mayor of Hiroshima - “What the f*ck was that?”
Captain of the Titanic - Where’s all the f*cking water coming from?”
Michelangelo - “You want me to paint what on the f*cking ceiling?”
Einstein - “Any f*cker could understand that.”
Sean Penn - “f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck”
John […]

October 16

Political jokes and satire

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If you like political humor you are in the right place, here is a collection of the best political jokes and satire.
Definition: Politics Poli (Poly): Many…. Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures.

Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is, don’t you?
A: They get elected.

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in […]

July 16

Doctor and Nurse Jokes

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Here is a great collection of Doctor and Nurse Jokes, enjoy !
A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman was still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and was rather confused. After nurse had made her comfortable, she was confronted with four of woman friends who asked, “How is […]

May 27

Funny Blonde Jokes

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Here is a nice collection of blonde jokes, enjoy !
A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs. “Here we go again.”
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, “How do you get to the other side?” […]

April 29

Music Jokes

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A nice collection of music jokes, question and answer, Knock Knock jokes and more, enjoy !
Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: “Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet”
Hey buddy. How late does […]

April 12

Knock Knock Jokes

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Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Adam !
Adam who ?
Adam up and tell me the total !
Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Adder !
Adder who ?
Adder you get in here ?
Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Abba !
Abba who ?
Abba’out turn ! Quick march!
Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Abbey !
Abbey who ?
Abbey stung me on the nose !
Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Abe !Abe who ?
Abe C D […]

March 31

Chuck Norris Park - Keep on Chuckin’

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Poor Chuck, he’ll do anything to get attention. Even resorting to vandalism.

Despite the best and most recent efforts by vandals, the new Albury suburb is nowhere to be found on maps and Albury Council has no intention of making the name change permanents.
But for now the sign stands clearly named after the Walker […]