An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya have?” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you, I suppose,” she replied.
So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one gulp.
His wife watched […]

Q: Did you hear about the Blonde who got a pair of water-skis?
A: She’s still looking for a lake with a slope.
Q: What do you call a blonde sky diving team?
A: A new version of the lawn dart’s game.
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde hoodlum?
A: She runs around spray-painting her name on chain […]

Here are one of the best Yo Momma Jokes I’ve ever heard.
Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds.
Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow that when she smiles traffic slows down.
Yo mama’s teeth so yellow that when she smiles everyone sings, “i […]

MEN AND WOMEN COMPARED NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will […]

Q: What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?
A: The Spice Girls!
Q: What’s the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
A: A genealogist looks up the family tree.
[…]

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a
McDonald’s fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!
Editor’s note: I would have hired him too!!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever’s
available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t
be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock […]

In general, most pickup lines are lame. But some are a lot worst than others.
Here are some really, really bad pickup lines,The Worst Pick-up Lines of All Time.
You remind me so much of Pokemon that I just want to pick-at-choo.
I’m new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
I misplaced my Teddy Bear. […]

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon an unusual
old lamp. She picked it up and cleaned it off, and suddenly a Genie
appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the
usual three wishes.
The Genie said, “Nope…due to inflation, constant downsizing, low
wages in third-world countries, and fierce global […]

The Physics of Christmas
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. […]

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Ugly: You’re in them
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He’s a cross dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you
Good: Your son’s finally maturing
Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
Good: You give the birds and bees talk […]