Blog Page 2

Creative Commons License by tales of a wandering youkai (Flickr)

Three ladies go to an exotic male strip club.

One friend pulls out a $10 bill, licks it and sticks it on a stripper’s left butt cheek.

Not to be outdone, the second friend pulls out a $50 bill, licks it and sticks it to his right butt cheek.

The third friend pulls out her ATM card, swipes it down his crack, grabs the $60 and goes home.

Creative Commons License by Pedro Ribeiro Simões (Flickr)

Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, ‘Will work for food,’ some of them have what they want: ‘Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives.

Creative Commons License by Sam Howzit (Flickr)

Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

A: Because a woman who can’t afford her own washing machine won’t be able to support you.

Creative Commons License by terran in Virginia Review (Flickr)

Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?

A: A rotisserie chicken.

Creative Commons License by Krista Review (Flickr)

Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

Creative Commons License by The Pizza Review (Flickr)

A blonde orders a pizza and is asked if she wants it cut into six or 12 pieces.

She responds, “Six, please. I could never eat 12 pieces.”

Creative Commons License by liz west (Flickr)

A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.

The farmer said, “That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.”

“So why does he have a wooden leg?” the tourist asked.

“One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up.”

The tourist asked again, “So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?”

“You can’t eat a pig that brave all at once!”

Creative Commons License by Mike Mozart (Flickr)

Q: Where do one-legged people eat?


Creative Commons License by robin_24 (Flickr)

Q: What do you call two banana peels?

A: A pair of slippers.

Creative Commons License by Klearchos Kapoutsis (Flickr)

Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?

A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.